Back in Business!

Relax....this one ain't a fuckin tribute to love.....I'm done with rehab and very proud to say I'm outta love and shit.....this is my first attempt after the insanity I'd plunged into.....so here goes!

THE DEVIL AND THE ENGINEER!

Mystic eyes and a devil's brain

I bet her tears make acid rain

Long time since they chucked her out

Too much she was for Hell, no doubt!

LBJ got fucked in 'Nam

And Papa Bush cudn't nail Saddam

Strategy din do dick there

And neither did those strikes from air!

Then it hits me (I'm slow allright!)

They din hav her when they went in to fight!

Not even born when they bombed the 'Cong

Mighta been in diapers in Desert Storm!

If they'd let her loose out there

They'd have busted charlie's lair

Wudn't have needed no fuckin evac

And Dubya wud have to skip Ey-rack

Hell she's a devil and a gud one at that

I bet she keeps hellfire under all the fat

Hundred and sixty? No probs at all

Keep ur whip crackin and I'll play ball

Hell I love this shit it's so fucking fun!

But if she finds out then I'm gonna burn!

I'm hoping to Hell that she'll understand

I'd sure hate to drop dead, face in the sand!

She's got a temper that no fire can match

Enought to boil Wolfram - and there lies the catch....

Mouth goes dry and body goes numb

I just stand and stare as if I'm struck dumb

Scared to speak lest she curse me to hell

Scared I might sound my own knell

But when I look deep in those eyes.....

Holy shit! I know I'm right!

Coz everyone's good deep down inside

And this one's no different although she may hide

Coz deep below beneath all the fire

There's a motherlode of gold in that deathly mire!

Love and Shit like That....

OK..... I swear to God I wasn't in my senses when I wrote this......so don't judge me by this one, although the last post is OK for it!!

Love Ruined My Shit!!!

Life was a lark in the days that are past

When once u'd marked answers ur die was cast

ICs, integrals and thermo to boot

And negative marks linked ur ass to a foot!!

Fuck it was tough but I din wanna stop

No time for feelings- had to reach the top

Maybe I got there, maybe I din

But life was good then - and Fuck You that's sumthing!

But all things in this world

Must at one point cease

Dunno when it happened

But Love kicked my shit

A blade in d guts

A magful of rounds

An arrow frm Cupid

Beats all that by bounds

I know I've been hit

And hit bad at that

I see no way out

No fuckin MedEvac!

My days pass in her thoughts

At night she raids my dreams

Can't take her off my mind

Even with metal n screams!!

I know I'm sinking fast

Against all sense and reason

Cupid u Motherfuck

U shot me out of season!!!!!

Babies Blow!!!

Man! Singapore is going to the dogs..... No , it's not just bcoz I'm gonna be there for some time .... the real reason is that, THEY ARE, *GET THIS*, ACTUALLY PAYING PEOPLE TO HAVE KIDS!!!! I mean, c'mon u can do better than that! Hire ppl, encourage immigration, why kids?

What gud r kids for the first few years?They can't even walk straight for years ( and drunk employees get *fired* for the same)! How wud they contribute ? Poop on the streets and generate new jobs in the hygiene industry? Keep throwing up and increase demand for shrinks and paeds? Give me one good reason.....

Now, I know there's always gonna be this bunch of pussies who'll keep crossing themselves over and over and praying for my soul.....their first response is usually," But Shree, weren't u a kid too once?" I say "Yes! But even the process of justice ends after retribution! U can't hold that against me any more!!! So go do sth useful.....get a job or study!"

Normally that should seal the argument....but for the heck of it, here's two major points for my case:

1. Kids cost a lot to raise .....think of all the vacations u cud take with that sorta dough! Now, I must say I remember reading this one fellow actually accounting for that cost in terms of happiness that u get frm these "chweet little cuties"...Fuck Off dude!! The only country which recognizes happiness as anything is Bhutan....and this is what they're like:

OK ... this is in no way meant to offend the ppl of Bhutan... but point made!!

2. Babies are quite useless to have around the house, considering the efforts parents hav to put in...... 'sfar as I'm concerned, the only times they come in handy are:

• To get one of 'em reserved seats in public transport.
  



• To make urself popular at family get-togethers and get all ur family (special emphasis on girls) to play ass-grab with u.
  



• To torture ur guests by forcing them to watch ur kids' antics (although they'd rather prefer a 6-hour long hara kiri to it).




• To get preferential treatment in general.

My personal objections come frm personal experience in dealing with others' kids.....as a child my parents wud try real hard to make me appreciate some random kid dashing of a toothless grin at me from his mom's arms......and I wud be like "Dude just get the fuck out of here! U ain't Mary Pickford!".....in fact I had to restrain myself from actually putting my fingers to my head and playing Devil.....this is what they look like when they give u that grin...

Then of course there are the times when u see ppl drooling over the shitty little things that babies do.....enthu young parents will actually make and put up videos of their baby drooling!! Go search for "baby drool " on Youtube!( I actually did!!) Jeez! Get a life...I know u love ur babies , but hey , I like my sanity to remain unviolated too! Drooling , crawling , pooping , even turning in their beds.....

What next?

"My baby inhaling and exhaling....so cute LOL!" ???? !!!

Now a lot of ppl seem to tell me...."Just wait until u get a baby"....but they never really bother to explain what it is that I shud watch out for.....it's so lame it could draw Disability Pay! And I ain't exaggerating...I've been told this on 3 separate occasions and am still to hear the rest of the sentence!

OK I think enough said....more and I'd probably have someone start "Mothers Against Shree"....and to be fair to the opposition I will concede that there's one thing babies are particularly helpful for- hell I even respect them for it!

HERE"S WHAT !!!

It's War Now!

This country's getting fucked in the ass by its own people. First we have communal riots, then political riots, and of course rather regular cases of violence. But the bloodbath that occured last night is the final straw!

A lot of questions are going to be asked now. Who did this? If XXX owns up, why the fuck didn't we have someone keeping a tab on them? How did the terrorists get in? "On a launch u say...well,motherfucker, what was the bloody CoastGuard doing"? And how did they get into such hotels as the Taj and Marriott? Unfortunately though, there are a lot of questions and no answers. Akshardham siege, Mumbai serial blasts, Delhi serial blasts,the story remains the same....now the govt will declare a red alert....innocent civilians will be frisked at every point on the road...... movement will be restricted.......and a few fake arrests will be shown.......

Its really a sad time for India.....coz if reports are to be believed the Bangladesh Mujahideen are assuming responsiblity for this carnage.......Bangladesh! The ppl that our army fought tooth-and-nail to liberate?The ppl that encroach upon our land and are yet appeased for votes by our mother-pimping politicos?The ppl who get unconditional aid frm us each time a cyclone hits their miserable land?

But nothing's gonna change.....as long as our "netas" and "mantrijis" are busy licking voters' balls, aint a thing thats gonna happen. Its gonna be the same for years to come......because where there's no will, there definitely aint a way!

However, ball-less politicians not withstanding, it would give us infinitely more hope if we were to remember this man:

This, ladies and gentlemen, is Hemant Karkare.....chief of Maharashtra ATS and a brave and honest man......like a true braveheart he led his men in the offensive and died a hero's death during last night's madness! As long as we have such examples in front of us, its enough....

That one spark from a tinderbox did wonders for Andersen's fairytale soldier.......

and we are real people!!!

Hats off to the courage of Hemant Karkare.........may his sacrifice remind us that for every piece of filth thats desecrating our Motherland, there's one ready to clean up that filth!!!

Who's A Bitch Now?

Seriously....when Orkut came to India ppl were so excited u'd think they had found out how to have the "perfect screw" or something...scrap and scrap and scrap.......it made my blood boil to see ppl post scrap after scrap to communicate when u had a sensible option of talking using Yahoo or MSN....





Now, I am a forgiving man and could summon strength to fight that particular evil...... But there's one thing that in my opinion overtakes the Holocaust and My Lai......What ppl write in the "ABOUT ME" field.....Oh My God!....I'd rather get all my fingers cut off,one after the other, with a blunt knife than read thru all the bullshit that ppl cram into that one column....it's unbelievable how many dickheads there are who seem to believe that they're competing for "Dipshit of the Year"....(I am at a lack of knowledge abt the feminine equivalent of dickhead, but get the point: girls are just as bad....no,worse!)....its almost like they jumped headfirst into a cement mixer before pouring out their emotions and feelings..... to think of the utter nonsense that ppl put in......





Here's a few representative samples.....


(*NOTE: I don't remember who it came from, but if you find things like "bitch","friends forever","cute",or "life is ......",u know its a girl!)





1.I m a ______ bitch......Who cares? U might be a bitch,a slutbag, some random struggling model or Lindsay Lohan - How the fuck is it of any use to anyone to know u r a bitch? I mean the only ppl who know u are likely to have knowledge of this particular trait of your personality.....and * who the fuck else * cares?





2. I am a guy/gal wid an attitude......attaboy Tonto, show us ur attitude....oh wait, there aint such a thing....its just a way to frantically claw at looking cool....."Guess what Sherlock? U AINT FREAKIN COOL!"...such miserable ppl dont deserve to be writing.....they should be put to some good use, like picking landmines in Burma(yes,I got this frm Rambo 4, which kicks ass by the way) or providing a distraction to the raiders in Darfur.....a definite no-no...





3.To know me u gotta be my friend.....this one doesn't make *ANY* sense....if I am ur friend I already know abt u.....and if I want to be friends this aint the least help.....Why even bother writing?





And if these sadists weren't getting enough twisted pleasure from stuff like that, there's another thing called "Testimonials". Probably the largest collection of lies I've ever seen.....not even the best politicians could come up with that much crap in one place!.....It almost makes u feel that Utopia exists and all are goody-good and that the Moon is made of cream cheese!!! But that's just one part.....the real excrutiating part is the manner....its so damn cheesy u could put on weight just by reading it.....All sorts of random stuff - drawings, names dissected to assign some quality to each letter,downright lies abt how those ppl are "sooooooo good/cute/nice" or,of course,my worst fear come true- cheesy couplets/quatrains/poems.....By Gar! With credentials like that there's no need to have a jury for the Nobel Peace Prize.....just give it to that fellow with a testimonial saying "Grrrrrrrrrrr8 Frnd" or some such crap....





Enough said ......I can feel my hands rushing towards my neck......But one last word of advice for all u "self-proclaimed bitches and jocks with attitudes"....

PULL YER HEADS OUTTA UR ASSES!....

GET A LIFE!!!

Ten Things That Suck!!

OK....now we all know that the world isnt perfect....Bush is still in town;Sooraj Barjatya has made another marriage video;Kim Jong Il is upto his tricks again....sad place to live....so,here's my personal hitlist of ten things that really hold their head above the shithole that the world has become.... though its only to get an extra kick from me!

1. Mushy/Romantic films,songs,TV shows and cheesy quotes like "Life is an icecream"....no dopehead, life isnt ice-cream...go ask any guy busting his brains for entrance exams.....honestly! Number 1 on the list!!

2.Girls who really dig the above....Do I sense a all-girl fatwa to behead me???

3.Pink....no, I dont really think this one even needs explaining! Just Imagine:

"OOH ! CHO CHWEET!"

Nothing less than eternal damnation in Hell, if u ask me!

4.Linkin Park... OK this is my personal opinion.....hell,it still sucks!

5.A useless roomate....possibly the worst thing that can happen to you in a hostel(except if the authorities discover pot in ur room!)

6.Taking biology as a compulsory subject...If I wanna do civil engineering, why the heck should i bother with cell structures???

7.Any Hindi film that starts with a K....except Khalnayak;Sanjay Dutt rocks!....or wait maybe any Hindi film which contains any of the following letters : "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ"!!

8.Writing essays on topics like "What I Did in My Summer Vacation".... dude,open your eyes:

9. Anyone who does not like Iron Maiden/AC DC/Saw/Nana Patekar/Rambo! They collectively rock!

I was scratching my head really hard to come up with something that falls in the same league as the above.... then it hit me - there's always gonna be some jerk who'll comment "Hey,the title says ten things and there's only nine!"- voila, NUMBER 10!

Author's Note: The serial numbers are just that....they do not represent any rating....all the above are equally worthless.Amen!

Maddox Rules. Period.

Nobody really cares, ma'm!

Holy cow!.... What exactly is the matter with Madam Beth Robbins, of "Mothers Against Maddox" fame??? I mean,seriously ,what kid is gonna attempt suicide just coz "MADDOX SAYS SO"? It's a HUGE waste of time to bother and actually create a portal to protest against it. Even worse, she also set up an onlin petition to back up her side of the issue....

So what exactly is this hate-spewing,racist,politically incorrect,insensitive and immoral monstrosity? Basically, the site,called "The Best Page in the Universe" is a collection of articles, written purely for the purpose of humor. True, it lambasts hippies,children,old people,nerds,high school jocks,and people in general. True also that it uses enough profanity and vulgarity to last a respectable man for nine lives!!! Not true,however,when she says that he "HARMS children" thru his articles....it's just fun....who would really believe things like "Lets give Idaho back to the British" or "Let's trick old people into entering a rocket and then fire it at the sun"? Grow up, there aint a chance that anyone remotely gives these things a second look after reading once(unless u r an engg student bored as hell!!)!...Well,decide for urself- here's the accused: http://www.maddox.xmission.com/ and here's the plaintiff:http://www.geocities.com/mothersagainstmaddox/about.htm!

Oh yeah, one more thing.... interestingly, Maddox says in one of his posts that " I signed the petition myself...who cares?"

Well, check out the stuff urself,and form ur opinions....as far as I'm concerned:

MADDOX RULES!!!!