Who's A Bitch Now?

Seriously....when Orkut came to India ppl were so excited u'd think they had found out how to have the "perfect screw" or something...scrap and scrap and scrap.......it made my blood boil to see ppl post scrap after scrap to communicate when u had a sensible option of talking using Yahoo or MSN....





Now, I am a forgiving man and could summon strength to fight that particular evil...... But there's one thing that in my opinion overtakes the Holocaust and My Lai......What ppl write in the "ABOUT ME" field.....Oh My God!....I'd rather get all my fingers cut off,one after the other, with a blunt knife than read thru all the bullshit that ppl cram into that one column....it's unbelievable how many dickheads there are who seem to believe that they're competing for "Dipshit of the Year"....(I am at a lack of knowledge abt the feminine equivalent of dickhead, but get the point: girls are just as bad....no,worse!)....its almost like they jumped headfirst into a cement mixer before pouring out their emotions and feelings..... to think of the utter nonsense that ppl put in......





Here's a few representative samples.....


(*NOTE: I don't remember who it came from, but if you find things like "bitch","friends forever","cute",or "life is ......",u know its a girl!)





1.I m a ______ bitch......Who cares? U might be a bitch,a slutbag, some random struggling model or Lindsay Lohan - How the fuck is it of any use to anyone to know u r a bitch? I mean the only ppl who know u are likely to have knowledge of this particular trait of your personality.....and * who the fuck else * cares?





2. I am a guy/gal wid an attitude......attaboy Tonto, show us ur attitude....oh wait, there aint such a thing....its just a way to frantically claw at looking cool....."Guess what Sherlock? U AINT FREAKIN COOL!"...such miserable ppl dont deserve to be writing.....they should be put to some good use, like picking landmines in Burma(yes,I got this frm Rambo 4, which kicks ass by the way) or providing a distraction to the raiders in Darfur.....a definite no-no...





3.To know me u gotta be my friend.....this one doesn't make *ANY* sense....if I am ur friend I already know abt u.....and if I want to be friends this aint the least help.....Why even bother writing?





And if these sadists weren't getting enough twisted pleasure from stuff like that, there's another thing called "Testimonials". Probably the largest collection of lies I've ever seen.....not even the best politicians could come up with that much crap in one place!.....It almost makes u feel that Utopia exists and all are goody-good and that the Moon is made of cream cheese!!! But that's just one part.....the real excrutiating part is the manner....its so damn cheesy u could put on weight just by reading it.....All sorts of random stuff - drawings, names dissected to assign some quality to each letter,downright lies abt how those ppl are "sooooooo good/cute/nice" or,of course,my worst fear come true- cheesy couplets/quatrains/poems.....By Gar! With credentials like that there's no need to have a jury for the Nobel Peace Prize.....just give it to that fellow with a testimonial saying "Grrrrrrrrrrr8 Frnd" or some such crap....





Enough said ......I can feel my hands rushing towards my neck......But one last word of advice for all u "self-proclaimed bitches and jocks with attitudes"....

PULL YER HEADS OUTTA UR ASSES!....

GET A LIFE!!!