Babies Blow!!!

Man! Singapore is going to the dogs..... No , it's not just bcoz I'm gonna be there for some time .... the real reason is that, THEY ARE, *GET THIS*, ACTUALLY PAYING PEOPLE TO HAVE KIDS!!!! I mean, c'mon u can do better than that! Hire ppl, encourage immigration, why kids?

What gud r kids for the first few years?They can't even walk straight for years ( and drunk employees get *fired* for the same)! How wud they contribute ? Poop on the streets and generate new jobs in the hygiene industry? Keep throwing up and increase demand for shrinks and paeds? Give me one good reason.....

Now, I know there's always gonna be this bunch of pussies who'll keep crossing themselves over and over and praying for my soul.....their first response is usually," But Shree, weren't u a kid too once?" I say "Yes! But even the process of justice ends after retribution! U can't hold that against me any more!!! So go do sth useful.....get a job or study!"

Normally that should seal the argument....but for the heck of it, here's two major points for my case:

1. Kids cost a lot to raise .....think of all the vacations u cud take with that sorta dough! Now, I must say I remember reading this one fellow actually accounting for that cost in terms of happiness that u get frm these "chweet little cuties"...Fuck Off dude!! The only country which recognizes happiness as anything is Bhutan....and this is what they're like:

OK ... this is in no way meant to offend the ppl of Bhutan... but point made!!

2. Babies are quite useless to have around the house, considering the efforts parents hav to put in...... 'sfar as I'm concerned, the only times they come in handy are:

• To get one of 'em reserved seats in public transport.
  



• To make urself popular at family get-togethers and get all ur family (special emphasis on girls) to play ass-grab with u.
  



• To torture ur guests by forcing them to watch ur kids' antics (although they'd rather prefer a 6-hour long hara kiri to it).




• To get preferential treatment in general.

My personal objections come frm personal experience in dealing with others' kids.....as a child my parents wud try real hard to make me appreciate some random kid dashing of a toothless grin at me from his mom's arms......and I wud be like "Dude just get the fuck out of here! U ain't Mary Pickford!".....in fact I had to restrain myself from actually putting my fingers to my head and playing Devil.....this is what they look like when they give u that grin...

Then of course there are the times when u see ppl drooling over the shitty little things that babies do.....enthu young parents will actually make and put up videos of their baby drooling!! Go search for "baby drool " on Youtube!( I actually did!!) Jeez! Get a life...I know u love ur babies , but hey , I like my sanity to remain unviolated too! Drooling , crawling , pooping , even turning in their beds.....

What next?

"My baby inhaling and exhaling....so cute LOL!" ???? !!!

Now a lot of ppl seem to tell me...."Just wait until u get a baby"....but they never really bother to explain what it is that I shud watch out for.....it's so lame it could draw Disability Pay! And I ain't exaggerating...I've been told this on 3 separate occasions and am still to hear the rest of the sentence!

OK I think enough said....more and I'd probably have someone start "Mothers Against Shree"....and to be fair to the opposition I will concede that there's one thing babies are particularly helpful for- hell I even respect them for it!

HERE"S WHAT !!!